Blue Elevator Blog

Help Wanted or Not?

When It Comes to Getting Help, There are Three Types of People:

1. People that don’t believe they need help.
2. People who know they need help – but are afraid to ask.
3. People who know they need help – and are willing to ask for it.

We ALL need help.  I need help.  You need help.  Chances are, you make a living helping people.

• Taxi drivers drive.
• Accountants account.
• Chefs cook.
• Pastors shepherd.
• Painters paint.
• Plumbers plumb.

It is a blessing to be able to help people doing something we enjoy.  It is equally a blessing to be helped by people who love doing what they do (so we don’t have to).  I am particularly thankful for plumbers!

The Best Leaders Need and Ask for Help

If we all need help, why do we resist it?  Getting much needed help is simple, but not always that easy.

If you are a leader, let me offer you some encouragement: there are no perfect businesses, churches, congregations, organizations, etc.  Why?  Because there are no perfect people.  Further, even if all of us were perfect, our environment and marketplace are constantly changing.  So, in a sense, everyone and everything is always in some sort of transition.  As such, we always need help.

Be Willing to Ask for Help

Since everyone needs help, be encouraged to ask for it.  Rejecting help is the epitome of weakness.  Asking for help is the embodiment of strength.  Smart people ask for help.  Highly skilled people ask for help.  Tiger Woods, one of the best golfers in the world, always takes a caddy with him.  Is the caddy a better golfer?  No!  But Tiger Woods asks his caddy for help and he is better because of this.  Even the most skilled physicians in the world do not operate on themselves.  The best fighter pilots in the world fly with a wing man.  We all have blind spots and we need help from others to see them.

Don’t worry if you don’t know exactly what type of help to ask for.  Be encouraged to ask someone you trust for insight.  Trust the person and the process to help you arrive at something actionable.  You may wish to ask the Silent Majority!

If Asked, Be Willing to Provide Help

Very few people are going to come to you and say “I need help.”  If someone asks you for help it is a compliment.  It means they trust you.  If you can’t help or feel you are not qualified, do what you can to find someone for that person.  Either help them or refer them to someone who can.

Positively Respond to Unsolicited Help

Have you ever sat in the car after a long day and gotten a glimpse of yourself in the mirror and noticed some food in your front teeth?  You recall the people you met with.  Of course, you were careful to engage each person with a warm hello and a toothy grin.  You think, “Really?  Couldn’t one person have let me know?”  You see, people are afraid to say something.  It takes a lot of courage to tell people that they have food in their smile.  How much more courage does it take for someone to tell you something is off in your business, organization, restaurant, church, etc?  No one likes to hear something is amiss.  If someone gives you a “heads up,” it means that he or she cares about you.

Be Willing to Drill Down on Help (Feedback)

Often times, people will not necessarily know how to verbalize what is wrong.  Recognize that what they describe may be a symptom and/or their perception.  This happens everyday.  People go to their physician because they don’t feel well.  So, after “Googling” all of their symptoms, they arrive for their appointment with the diagnosis and the treatment.  When presented with a complaint, the wise leader (like a skilled physician) will take time to wade through symptoms to arrive at the proper diagnosis.  Reject the temptation to be defensive.  You will be tempted to interpret criticism as an invalidation of your efforts.  Don’t!  Instead, ask a lot of questions.  Drill down on the symptoms.  Once you have the proper diagnosis, you can then focus on the remedy.

Offering Unsolicited Help (Feedback)

Proverbs 27:6 says … “wounds from a friend can be trusted.”  Offering someone unsolicited feedback takes courage.  It takes courage because unsolicited feedback may feel like a wound to the person receiving it.  You might be rebuffed by those who don’t think they need help.  You might even be rebuffed by people who recognize their need for help, but still might resist it.  We can all recall phrases like “I can do it all by myself.” Or, “Thanks – but I don’t need any help.”  I have heard that drowning victims will sometimes fight the very person trying to rescue them.  A wise person will understand that your overture is borne out of concern for his or her welfare.

Know When to Move On

Sometimes it is hard to convince people they need help.  I will tell you that EVERY business could benefit from the input of a highly-skilled and trusted advisor.  As the founder of Blue Elevator™ (a business consulting firm), I enjoy helping business owners.  Whereas every business owner is my potential customer, I have had to learn that not every business owner is ready to accept help.

So, I keep asking, “Would you like some help?”  If the answer is, “Nope – doing great,” I know it’s time to move along.  If the answer is “I don’t know,” “Maybe,” or “Yes,” it warrants spending some time identifying where the improvement can be had and how to go about helping them.

It’s Up to Me and You

Now, it’s up to me and you.  I will start.  I help people for a living, but I need help.  If you click on the Contact button and email me, I will share what I need help with.  Because things are always changing, my needs constantly change.  But the constant for me – and you – is that we all need help.

And then, you can tell me what you need help with.  That is, if you have the courage to do so.